Group holidays promise unforgettable memories. They also bring with them a few heated debates about washing up, the budget or what time to get up. According to the Holiday Clashometer unveiled by Skyscanner, two in three French people have already experienced frustration or conflict during a group holiday. A study analysed by psychologist Alicia Sandon and humorously illustrated by author Margaux Motin, who points out that behind minor arguments often lie major misunderstandings.
For Marie-Faure Ambroise, CEO of Beau Voyage and an author specializing in family vacations, these minor friction points are a natural part of any group vacation. “We’ve all experienced that moment on a group vacation when we eat breakfast in silence so as not to wake up our friends who don’t get up until noon. ” A familiar scene that illustrates these small daily misalignments, which are often more revealing than major conflicts.
Even before setting off, everyone is already speaking a different language
At Skyscanner, we’ve had a bit of fun decoding the real language of holidays thanks to the Holiday Clashometer, a survey conducted with OnePoll among 1,000 French people.
The results are a real treat. When someone says: “I’m flexible!”, they often mean: “I just hope we don’t go over my budget.” The person who offers a very diplomatic “We’ll do whatever you want” is actually hoping that someone will finally ask for their opinion. As for the hero who announces: “I can sort out the bookings”, what they’re really thinking is: “Not again… ”
These little discrepancies, brought to life with the mischievous touch of Margaux Motin, set the tone: holidays often begin with a series of unspoken assumptions.
The real invisible baggage? Everyone’s expectations
The Skyscanner study reveals that more than one in four French people believe a group trip has already strained an important relationship. Ten per cent even admit to having damaged a friendship.
For Alicia Sandon, the problem arises long before the suitcases are packed : “Holidays often begin with a collective misunderstanding. We’ve all said yes to the same thing, but everyone sets off on the trip they’ve imagined in their own head. Not necessarily the same one. ”
The psychologist adds that arguments are almost never about the real issue.
“In holiday arguments, the apparent issue almost always masks an underlying need: recognition, fairness, or the need to be heard.”
Her first piece of advice is therefore simple: before booking, everyone should say what would make this holiday… their ideal holiday.
The organiser deserves a holiday too
Every group has its ‘nice organiser’. The one who compares flights, books the holiday home, chases everyone up on WhatsApp and ends up paying the deposits.
According to Skyscanner, 41 per cent of French people feel they do more than their fair share of the organising. Even more telling, more than one in two organisers feel their efforts receive little or no recognition. In total, they spend an average of more than 14 hours preparing for the trip.
According to Alicia Sandon:
“Mental load doesn’t take a holiday. It just changes scenery.”
In other words, thanking the person who organised everything costs less than a bouquet of flowers… and can sometimes prevent an existential crisis when it comes to allocating bedrooms.
The ‘dishwashing war’ doesn’t exist
Well… almost.
Marie-Faure Ambroise observes that these disagreements rarely stem from genuine fundamental differences. “Or we argue because no one wants to have lunch at the same time. It’s silly, but that’s often what wears a group down, not the big fights. ” This analysis echoes that of Alicia Sandon: behind disagreements over schedules or household chores often lie implicit expectations and a need for recognition.
Once there, the main sources of tension identified relate to household chores (18 per cent), morning routines (17 per cent), choosing activities (17 per cent) and spending whilst on holiday (16 per cent).
For Alicia Sandon, these squabbles are often misleading : “Once there, it’s never really the washing-up or having a lie-in that’s the problem. These are just pretexts.”
Her solution? Make sure everyone gets a few hours to themselves on a regular basis.
“It’s not selfishness. It’s prevention.”
A recommendation that should reassure anyone who secretly dreams of reading a novel on their own whilst the others are out paddleboarding.
Family holidays: expert level
When several families go away together, the difficulty level rises even further. Finding suitable accommodation, managing the children’s routines, and dealing with different budgets or sometimes conflicting parenting styles requires a good deal of flexibility.
Alicia Sandon encourages people to talk frankly about financial matters and everyone’s habits before setting off, so that no one feels judged or left out.
The best memory isn’t necessarily the most perfect one
Faced with tensions, more than one in three French people admit to having already given up on a group holiday in order to preserve a relationship.
However, Alicia Sandon prefers a different approach.
“Giving up out of caution also means giving up the experience of seeing that the conflict can be worked through and that the bond can emerge stronger as a result.”
This is undoubtedly the finest conclusion of the Holiday Clashometer : a successful holiday isn’t one where nobody argues, but one where everyone finds their place, where expectations are voiced… and where you come home with more fits of laughter than screenshots of WhatsApp conversations.
If these scenes seem so universal, it’s also because they’ve long fueled our collective imagination. “France loves to see families tear each other apart in the movies, in Les Petits Mouchoirs or Barbecue. It’s a reflection of our lives: we’ve all, at one time or another, experienced that simmering tension on vacation with friends,” points out Marie-Faure Ambroise. It’s a reminder that group vacations are never perfect, but they often remain the ones that leave us with the richest memories.
Because, ultimately, the perfect holiday doesn’t exist. On the other hand, the anecdotes that will have everyone in stitches at Christmas often stem… from an epic battle over who was supposed to empty the dishwasher.
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Featured photo : © Margaux Mottin for Skyscanner
